Best Jokes

Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks.

"Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 183."

Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?"

"How was your first day of seventh grade son?"

"It was great Mom, I found out I’ll be learning sex education in my astronomy class. The teacher asked if we had a favorite star and also said beginning tomorrow we’ll be discussing heavenly bodies!"

A father asked his daughter, "What do you see in that boy? That kid has his head screwed on backwards!"

"No he doesn’t dad, that’s how kids wear ball caps these days."

Father: What do you see in that boyfriend of yours?

Teen daughter: Well... he’s reliable.

Father: He’s always late picking you up!

Teen daughter: I know and I can always count on it. Remember when you had to sit in the front room with my dates until I was ready?

Father: Now that you mention it, I’m beginning to like this guy!