Best Jokes

The most dangerous part of parenting is when I'm barefoot and reenacting the shattered glass scene from Die Hard in a darkened room full of legos.

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?

A: Because he never-lands.

What do ninjas and farts have in common?

They're silent and deadly.

If Ivana Trump divorced Donald and then married musician Neil Diamond then she would be Ivana Diamond.

If she then divorced Neil Diamond and then she married pro golfer Jack Nicklaus then she would be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus.

If she then divorced Jack Nicklaus and then she married former Mets pitcher Ron Darling then she would be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus Darling.