Best Jokes

If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress?
Congress!

A man who was just about to be executed was asked whether he would like to have a last smoke.
The man answered, "No thank you, I don't smoke. I don't want to get lung cancer."

"Doctor, I have a son who thinks he's a chicken," said the man.

"Why don't you bring him in for treatment?" asked the doctor.

"We need the eggs," replied the man.

A guy and a girl are having a drink together in a bar. The man raises his glass and says, "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead!" "What's that mean?" asks the girl. "That," answers her date, "is an authentic Irish toast." "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon." What's that?" asked the guy. The girl says, "That's French toast."