Best Jokes

An elderly man just finished his annual physical, when the doctor came in grinning from ear-to-ear. "Fred, we did a full workup - heart, lungs, credit score, investments and guess what? You can afford to live another 15 years."

The males hang around the beer cans. The females are on the phones.

My mother always told me "If you can't say something nice about someone.......They're probably a Jerk!

Dear optimists and pessimists,

While you were all arguing over the glass being half full or half empty, I drank it!

Sincerely,
An opportunist