What is the best thing to put in a pie?
Your teeth!
A man went to his doctor to go over his blood work results. As soon as he entered the doctor's office, the doctor said to him, "I just looked at your results. You are lucky that you come to see me early enough..."
The man became very nervous and asked, "What's wrong with my blood work?"
"Oh nothing! Just that I'll be leaving my office early today," replied the doctor.
When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels.
"Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do."
"You're right it wasn't!" Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had, the ones we got from the hotel while we were on vacation."