Best Jokes

Not long ago, an elderly, slim and trim lady was admitted to the hospital. After she finished giving a nurse her information, she asked the nurse if she could help her to the bathroom.

Above the commode, she noticed a note. It read, 'Toilet weight 300 pounds'.

She turned to the nurse and asked, "Why would I want to lift a toilet?"

The one nice thing about narcissists is that they don’t talk about other people!

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, "Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?"

After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, "You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer."

My 4th grade teacher used to complain to my mom about my poor hand writing. I tried hard for years, only in vain, to continuously get the feed back, "Try to improve your handwriting!"

I am 25 now, working as a software professional for a company. I mailed her last week for thanking her for making me what I am now.

She replied with a post script... "Please improve your handwriting!"