Best Jokes

Johnny, a farmer's son, was having lots of trouble in getting dates. He asked his best friend for some pointers.

The first thing you have to do is to do something to attract her his friend advised. So Johnny went home and hugged his John Deere.

Q: How do you clean ice off a tall buildings?

A: With sky scrapers.

One day these two fine southern ladies were sittin' on the front porch having some iced tea. One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and in her long southern drawl says "Look at this ring my husband gave me. Isn't it nice?"

To which the other woman replies, "Oh that's nice, that's real nice."

The first woman then says , "And just last month he took me on one of them Caribbean cruises."

The second woman again replies, "Oh that's nice, that's real nice."

"Well sweetheart doesn't your husband ever buy you nice things or send you nice places?"

"Oh", the second woman responds, "When we first got married he did send me to etiquette school."

"Why'd he do that?" the first woman asks.

To which the second fine southern woman replies, "Well you see, before, when someone told me about the jeweler their husband gave them, or the trips he sent her on, I would have just said I don't give a crap, but now I say that's nice, that's real nice."

Q: What is a zebra?

A: 26 sizes larger than "A" brA: