Best Jokes

1) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

2) I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3) This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

4) I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

5) Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

6) Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

There are 10 kinds of people:
1. Those who understand binary.
10. Those who don't understand this joke.

5.25 inch floppy disks were fragile. They had to be stored in paper sleeves, could not be bent, and they could be damaged by a single touch

3.5 inch floppy disks held 1.44 megabytes of data. That's enough for maybe two or three standard Microsoft Word documents with no images. That's enough for maybe a minute of MP3 quality music.

Before internet use was common, the most frequent way that computer viruses spread was through floppy disks. It was a risk to take your data to another person's computer.

A selection of quotes from "I miss Dan Quayle".
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
-- J. Danforth Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- J. Danforth Quayle
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89