Best Jokes

Tiger Woods walks into the Masters lobby and asks for a room. The clerk responds, "I am sorry sir we are booked, but there is a hotel about a 4 iron down the road."

Tiger says, "But I'm playing in the Master's tomorrow."

The clerk replies again that they are booked, but there is a hotel about a 4 iron down the road.

To this Tiger says, "But I am Tiger Woods!"

The clerk then says, "Oh! For you it's just a 9 iron then."

I went to the Doctor for my annual check up.

He told me that I have insomnia.

But I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants!

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching."

Further down the line is a pile of cookies.

A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."