Best Jokes

A chef friend of mine was trying to come up with a new, unique dish for his restaurant. He took a pot of raw fish and poured alphabet soup all over it.

"What do you think?"

"If you ask me," I replied as I looked into the disgusting pot with the soggy letters swirling around, "this SPELLS disaster."

Bill: "Do you know what a satellite is?"

Phil: "Sure. It's what you put on your horse if you're going to ride him after dark."

"Home Maintenance"....by Duane Pipe

"Growing up in the Balkans".....by Hugo Slavia

"Irish Winter Tales".....by Pete Moss

"Increase Your Brain Power"....by Sarah Bellum

"Looking Into the Wishing Well"....by Eileen Dover

"How to Write a Mystery Novel"....by Page Turner

"Winning Big".....by Jack Potts

"Vacation Spot in the Tropics"....by Sandy Beech

"I Always Enjoy the Darkness"....by Gladys Knight

Nate walked along a highway in Nevada shouting that, "the end of the world will come soon!" As he got closer to the city he came upon a large lever in the middle of the road with a sign that said "Pull lever and the world will end!".

He just knew this would be great place to preach his message. Sure enough, the traffic stopped both ways as people were forced to stop and listen. A large truck came over the hill and, due to poor brakes, had to decide whether to hit the lever or hit Nate. He chose Nate as it would only be the end of one person as opposed to the end the world.

The truck driver was unhurt but in deep despair over the the choice he had to make. A police officer tried to console him by saying, "Look at it this way, it was better Nate than Lever."