Best Jokes

After months of searching, Pat found a job in electrical engineering. Pat traveled to various locales to analyze and fix problems with his company’s equipment. Yet it frustrated him that his employer gave him little training.

One day Pat heard about some training classes coming up and asked his boss if he might attend.

“For sure,” his boss said. “I was already planning on sending you."

"You were?"

"Oh yes, who do you think is going to be teaching it?”

You Know You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When...

- You ski uphill.

- You get a speeding ticket even when you are parked.

- You speed walk in your sleep.

- You answer the door before people knock.

St. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates one day when a man suddenly appeared before him. The man said "Let me in" but before St. Peter could say anything the man disappeared.

A few minutes later the man appeared again and said, "Let me in!" Again, before St. Peter could say anything, the man disappeared.

A few minutes later the man appeared again and said frantically, "Let me in quick!"

St. Peter said, "Are you playing games with me?"

The man said, "No! They're trying to resuscitate me!"

I was driving down the road one day when I happened to see some kids with a lemonade stand. I stopped and found they had two bowls of ice cold lemonade. One was 75 cents a glass and the other was 25 cents a glass.

I asked for the 25 cents lemonade. I drank it all down and it was delicious. I asked what the difference was between bowls because the 25 cents lemonade was terrific.

The boys looked at each other then one of them said, "We're trying to get rid of that bowl of lemonade because a cat fell into it."