Best Jokes

I was walking down the street when I heard a skirmish down an ally. A guy was trying to take a woman’s purse. When I saw it was my ex-wife, I said a little prayer for the guy and just kept on walking.

What do you call the Oracle from The Matrix movie, without her guardian?

She's Sans Serif

A man left the bar late one night after one too many drinks. He decided to walk home taking a shortcut through the grave yard. He fell into an open grave but failed to escape after many attempts.

What the man didn’t see was another guy from the bar who had previously fallen in and was curled up asleep at the other end of the grave. The guy woke up and said, “You’ll never make it out of here.”

Low and behold he made it out in one leap!

How many astronauts does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two astronauts to change a light bulb. Astronaut number one to hold the light bulb and astronaut number two to rotate astronaut number one.