Best Jokes

Bob: "I took a big fall, fell off a 50 ft ladder."

Jim: "Oh wow, are you okay?"

Bob: "Yeah, it's a good thing I only fell off the first step."

In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for Valentine’s Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it to school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the same box of candy.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."

Whenever I hear the expression, "the bar is high"....

I can't help but think, "Oh great! I need a step-stool just to get a drink?"

After all the little children finished visiting Santa at the big mall, a 20 year old young lady went up and sat on Santa's knee. "I want to ask for just one thing for Christmas," she said, "and it is for my momma."

Santa replied, "I usually only answer little children, but since it is for your momma go ahead and ask me what she would like for Christmas."

"She would really, really love a handsome son-in-law."