Best Jokes

Having raised a large family, my mother cooked everything in battalion-size batches.

So when my newly married brother, Ron requested her chop-suey recipe, she experimented for two weeks with the ingredients in order to cut the dish down for the honeymooners.

"Thanks for the recipe, Mom," "Ron wrote home. "The first thing we did was triple it so we would have plenty of leftovers!"

I moved into a bungalow recently.

I was going to move into a house, but that’s another story.

I was having dinner with a chess player that had just received notification that she has received the prestigious chess designation of "Master".

Due to the checkered tablecloth, It took her two hours to pass me the ketchup.

My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 30 years without parole!

Man, that was a long sentence!