Tonight’s Powerball jackpot is up...
Up to 1,783 dozen eggs!
"I've created a new computer that is almost human."
"You mean that it can think, feel and reason just like a human would?"
"No, but when it makes a mistake it blames it on another computer."
You're in a casino, playing Blackjack (21), and the dealer shows a ten/face card. What medication do you hope the dealer is taking?
An ace inhibitor!
My wife asked me to remind her to get ice cream for a pie we had on the way home.
I immediately bellowed, "REMEMBERRRRRR THEEE AALLAMOOODE!!!"