Best Jokes

A man was walking through an old mansion in the middle of the night when he met with a ghost.

"I have been traveling through these corridors for 300 years," the ghost said.

"In that case," the man replied, "can you show me the way to the bathroom?"

To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 30-30 rule.

After 30 minutes of work, quit your job and buy a 30 acre farm in the middle of nowhere.

Lady at hat shop: "I would like to buy the hat with the red apple, yellow bananas and purple grapes, please.

Cashier: "Certainly, ma'am, would you care for a hat box?"

Lady: "No thank you, I'll just eat it here."

A diner at a restaurant is becoming very impatient with his slow waiter. "Excuse me," he says to the waiter as he passes by. "Have you been to the zoo?"

"Why no," the waiter replies.

"Well, you might enjoy it," the diner replies. "You'd get a real charge out of watching the sloths dash around."