Best Jokes

My neighbor and I were talking, when he brought up the fact they were going to travel abroad over the holidays to Beijing, China.

I said, "Oh that's nice, after the first of the year we too are going to travel."

He said, "Oh where are you all going?"

I said, "Well we are excited, were going to Walmart to see all the new Chinese products."

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E.

One boy says: “Elephant.”

Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T.

The same boys says: “Two elephants.”

The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M.

The boy shouts from the other side of the door: “Maybe an elephant!”

Why is it always login on a computer or logout?

Why not add the option... Unsure?

Man to priest: father, may I smoke while I'm praying?

Priest : no you cannot!

Lady to priest : father, can I pray while I smoke?

Priest: yes you can!