Best Jokes

You know you're having a bad day when...

Your pet rock snaps at you.

What do you call an Italian man with rubber toe?

Rubertoe!

A father texts his son: "My dear son, today is a day you will treasure for all the days of your life. My best love and good wishes. Your Father."

His son texts back: "Thanks Dad. But the wedding isn't actually until tomorrow!"

His Father replies: "I know."

Why doesn't somebody cross electric blankets with toasters?

That way, we could pop out of bed each morning!