Latest Jokes

A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina state line.

When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Savannah to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.

The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket.

The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car.

A drunk good old boy, from S.C., got out and watched the performance briefly, he then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there's no way in hell I can pass that test."

A fifth grader class was on an educational field trip. As they rode along in the school bus, the teacher noticed that one boy was lying facedown in the aisle of the bus with his hands over his eyes.

“Why are you lying in the aisle like that?”

“Well,” said the boy, “if you don’t see anything, you don’t have to write anything.”

Earl and Bob, both obsessed with baseball, never missed their favorite team’s game. They made a promise to each other, whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.

One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally, Earl did. He said to Bob.

"I have good news and bad news. I'll tell you the good news first. There is baseball in heaven."

Bob said, "That’s the best news!"

Then Earl said, time for the bad news....”You're pitching tomorrow night."

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.