Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.
Where do poor meatballs live?
In the spaghetto.
An airplane encountered some turbulence, it started juddering and rocking noticeably from side to side. The flight crew wheeled out the drinks cart to keep the passengers calm.
The attendant asked a business man, “Would you like a drink?"
“Why not,” he replied unkindly. “I’ll have whatever the pilot’s been having."
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.