Latest Jokes

Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

Q.: What's the difference between Germans who are computer illiterate and Germans who are computer whizzes?

A.: In Germany, computer illiterates say, "Guten Tag," whereas, computer whizzes say, "Guten Toggle."

Lazy Husband
"I`m ashamed of the way we live," wife said to her lazy husband, our Santa, who refused to find a job.
"My father pays our rent, my mother buys all of our food, my sister buys our clothes, my aunt bought us a car. I`m just so ashamed."
Santa rolled over on the couch. "You should be ashamed," he agreed. "Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a thing!"