Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke A Texan dies and goes to Hell. Like with all new arrivals, Satan enjoys messing with the Texan. First, Satan turns the thermostat to 100 degrees with 80% humidity. Satan goes to check on the Texan only to become angry when he sees the Texan reclining in a lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "This is great! Just like Texas in June!" Satan decides he will turn the thermostat up to 110 degrees and 90% humidity. Satan, then, returns to his new Texas arrival only to see him still in his lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "This is even better! Just like Texas in July!" Satan is becoming more angry so he decides he will move the thermostat to 120 degrees and 100% humidity. Once again, Satan returns to his new arrival only to see the Texan still in his lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "Oh wow! Just like Texas in August!"
By this time, Satan is really mad. He decides he's going to do a complete turnaround on the temperature in Hell. Satan turns the thermostat to well below freezing. Satan returns to the Texan. Satan is completely shocked by the Texan's reaction: The Texan is whooping and hollering, "Whoo Hoo!!! The Rangers just won the World Series!!!!"
I tripped on my wife's bra in the bedroom, turns out it was a booby trap.
Sign in the widow of a Photography Studio:
We can Shoot Your Wife and Frame Your Mother-In-Law, If you want.
We can Hang Them Too.
An Australian Professor was conducting a research on crocodiles along the Sepik River and was escorted by a villager who knew a lot about the river and crocodiles. Paddling up the river, the Professor asked the village escort, "do you know how to read?" asked the Professor. The Villager replied, "nogat eh". The professor then said, "well, then you are already dead because you know nothing". The villager was so upset that he paddled the canoe without saying a word.
A little up the river, the villager then asked the professor, "do you know swimiology?" The professor replied, "No". "Well then, you are dead," said the villager. "Because, if the canoeology is sinkology, you will not swimology, and the crocodiology will eatology your assology."
Free Daily Joke