Latest Jokes

An Australian Professor was conducting a research on crocodiles along the Sepik River and was escorted by a villager who knew a lot about the river and crocodiles. Paddling up the river, the Professor asked the village escort, "do you know how to read?" asked the Professor. The Villager replied, "nogat eh". The professor then said, "well, then you are already dead because you know nothing". The villager was so upset that he paddled the canoe without saying a word.
A little up the river, the villager then asked the professor, "do you know swimiology?" The professor replied, "No". "Well then, you are dead," said the villager. "Because, if the canoeology is sinkology, you will not swimology, and the crocodiology will eatology your assology."

The other day i was in the pub when the waitress approaches me to take my order,
I noticed she had two black eyes

she asks 'what would you like to order?'

I replied with what i wanted to eat, making sure to speak very clearly and loudly because it was obvious she wasn't a great listener!

A Son who was schooling far away from home once sent a sms to his father. “Father, the situation here is critical. Please, send me some money, suicide contemplated”.
The Father replied, Son, the situation at home is more critical. Suicide approved.

Whats the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb!