Latest Jokes

I called into my local pub to find O"Reily nursing a black eye, and looking very sorry for himself. "so what happened to yourself O'Reily?"
"well, today's Monday, yesterday was Sunday and I was in church. We stood to sing the hymns when I noticed that mrs. Magilicuddy who was stood in front of me, had her lovely sunday frock stuck in her cheeks, so I reached over and pulled it back out. well she swung around and belted me with her handbag!"
" Ah bad luck O'Reily, you being such a gentleman and all"
The very next week I called into the pub again to find O'Reily battered and bruised all over! " What happened to yourself O'Reily?"
"Well today's Monday, yesterday was Sunday And I was in church with Shamus, we stood to sing the hymns and mrs. Magilicuddy had her sunday frock all jammed up so Shamus pulled it out for her.Now I knew she doesnt like that so I quickly tucked it back in!

My wife and I were happy for 25 years, ..... and then we met.

For gods sake! You'd think it would be safe leaving your car unlocked at a church parking lot on a Sunday! Apparently NOT.
Anyway, I got 4 iPhones and 6 Tablets.

Flights with Aer Lingus to USA from Dublin for £50.
Use of the toilet £300.