Latest Jokes

4 surgeons were discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside them is numbered."

The second responds, "You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable!"

What do you call a woman/man without a brain?

Divorced

I'm trying to plan a party for my girlfriend, but I can't seem to find any party hats, or a girlfriend.

Why are ET's eyes so BIG?

He saw his phone bill.