And the Lord said to John "Come forth, and you will receive an eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Two cows are standing in a field, one says to the other: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Are you worried?
The other cow replies: Not at all, good thing i am a helicopter
Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar?
They each got six months
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*