Latest Jokes

How do u get a crazy one armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern.
"Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day."
"Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?"

Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "Sure thing."

Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "NO, SIR!"

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.

“That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. “That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. “What I mean,” said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”

The clerk handed him a mirror.