Latest Jokes

When Santa came home, his wife, Jeeto, was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," Jeeto sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the country?" Santa asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"And?"
"At the end of the letter it said, 'Dear Jeeto, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son.'"

Why worry, there only two things to worry about.
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well there is nothing to worry about.
If you are sick then there are only two things to worry about.
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well then there is nothing to worry about.
If you die then there are only two things to worry about.
Either you will go to heaven or you will go to hell.
If you go to heaven then there is nothing to worry about.
If you go to hell you will be so damn busy shaking hands with your friends that you wont have time to worry.

How do you drive someone crazy?

You lock them in a round room and tell them to pee in the corner.

A young blonde with a coach ticket went up and sat down in the first class section of a plane going from Tampa to Los Angles
The airline hostess said I'm sorry miss but you have to sit in the coach section.
The blonde replied " I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to LA " She wouldn't move.
Finally the first officer came up and whispered in her ear. The blonde jumped up and ran back to coach

The stewardess asked the first officer what he said to the blonde.

I told her First Class doesn't stop in LA.