Latest Jokes

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After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.

“That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. “That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. “What I mean,” said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”

The clerk handed him a mirror.

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "wildcats3333" |
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.

He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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CATEGORY Puns
posted by "wildcats3333" |
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4 baseball fans want to show their teams that they're each the biggest fans in the world, so they decide to climb the biggest mountain they can find.

The first one to the top is a Braves fan, and he says, "I'm the biggest fan in the world! This is for you Braves!" and he jumps off.

The second one to the top is a Mets fan and he says, "I love you more than anything Mets, this is for you!" and he jumps off.

The last 2 people who get to the top get there at the same time. One is a Red Sox fan and one is a Yankee fan. When they're both standing at the top together, the Red Sox fan says, "This one is for all baseball fans everywhere!"

And the Red Sox fan pushes the Yankee fan off.

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CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "wildcats3333" |
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A new Priest arrived in a small town and was trying to find the local church.
He spotted Little Johnny playing in the street and said "could you help me please"
Could you tell me where the local church is?
Little Johnny said, "sure, if you go down the street to the 2nd crossing, then turn right, go about another 200 metres and turn left at the next turning and you will find the church about 200 metres on the left side of the road"
Thank you said the priest and if you come to church on Sunday, I will help you find God.
No chance said Johnny, if you could find the church, what chance have you got in finding God???

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posted by "Les Smedley" |