Latest Jokes

I have found myself a new exciting hobby.
I go out in my car in the morning to the nearest Highway and sit with my window open and a hairdryer pointed out of the window.

It's amazing how all the cars slow down!

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get ear rings?
A: A Buck-an-ear.

Q: Why would they not let the Pirate into the theater?
A: Because it was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline:

You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change.

Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once."

No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.