Latest Jokes

1) Teen age - Have time + energy , but no money

2) Working age - Have money + energy , but no time

3) Old age - Have time + money , but no energy

Husband calling wife on her cell phone: Did you just try to call me?

Wife: No I didn't. Why?

Husband: Well my phone didn't ring and I just wanted to make sure it was you who wasn't calling!

A man crosses the road from a hospital and enters a bar and immediately asks for three whiskey shots and a beer. The barman pours the drinks and the man swallows each whiskey in one swallow.

The barman is alarmed by this and expresses his concern, only for the man to reply, ”IF YOU HAD WHAT I HAVE THEN YOU WOULD BE KNOCKING THE DRINKS BACK TOO!”

The barman places the beer on the counter and watches the man chug down the brew and asks sympathetically, “What have you got?”

The man places the empty glass down and replies, “An empty wallet.”

My mother always told me "If you can't say something nice about someone.......They're probably a Jerk!