Latest Jokes

Two drunk guys were fighting.

One of them drew a line in the dirt, and said if the other crossed it they would punch them in the face.

That was the punchline.

You 'put your two cents in'...

But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'...

What's the deal, where's that extra penny going to?

It was enough to startle the little old lady out of her roots. There was the fish market person tossing trout clear across his shop to a man in fisherman uniform.

The fishermen caught six fish and then said: "All right Joe. Now I can truthfully tell my wife I caught six fish today."

Barbara was taking her first skydiving lesson. The instructor told her to jump out of the plane and pull her rip cord, explaining that he himself would jump out right behind her so that they would go down together. Barbara understood and was ready.

Just before it was time for Barbara to jump out of the plane, the instructor reminded her that he would be right behind her. She jumped, and, after being in the air for a few seconds, pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed her out of the plane.

He pulled his rip cord but the parachute didn't open. As he struggled to pull the emergency rip cord, he shot downward and darted past Barbara. Seeing this, Barbara quickly undid the straps to her own parachute, and yelled after him, "So you wanna race, huh?!"