The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage.
One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, "So... how do you like your rice? Boiled? Steamed? Or fried?"
Without missing a beat she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, "Thrown."
A woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.
After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.
She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"
Her son piped up from the back seat, "I do... because you couldn't catch the other cars!"
The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation.
After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, "I don't know what you expect me to do for you. I'm a psychologist."
"A psychologist?" I replied. "Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can't you help us?"
"Well," he finally responded in a measured tone. "How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?"