Latest Jokes

Man: "Oh Guru! Why is it that when I open my eyes in bed at night, I see an aura light around my wife's head? What does it all mean spiritually?"

Guru: "She's checking your cellphone."

A bunch of men were sitting around the playing poker.

"I win!" said Johnson.

Henderson threw down his cards, "That's it! I've had it! Johnson is cheating!!!"

"How can you tell?" Phillip asked.

"Those aren't the cards I dealt him!"

So a burglar broke into my house...

I put the red dot on his chest and my cat did the rest!

My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, "I'm fat."

"No, you're not," she scolded.

"My hair is awful," I said.

"It's lovely," she encouraged.

"I've never looked worse," I whined.

And she said, "Trust me sis, yes you have."