Best Jokes

A private just out of training is assigned to guard the main gate.

He is ordered to allow no one through unless they have the password.

A vehicle with a 3-star general inside rolls up. The private stops the vehicle and asks the driver for the password.

The driver doesn't know the password. The private, after saluting the general, asks him the for the password. The general doesn't know it either.

The private says, “I can’t let you through without the password.”

The general replies, “Son I'm the commander of this base and a 3-star general!”

The private says, “Sir, I still can’t let you pass."

The general tells the driver to drive on through.

The private then says to the general, “Sir I'm real new to this. Do I shoot you or the driver?”

"Doctor my husband is doing weird things lately," a lady complains to her psychiatrist. "I strongly feel something wrong with him."

"What is he doing, Mrs. Bankman, that looks weird to you?" asks the doctor.

"We'll he drinks his cup of tea in the morning and eats the cup leaving the cup's handle out."

The doctor looks startled and after the initial confusion he goes, "It is weird, he leaves the best part out."

I just got a job at the local Taxi cab company,

Now I just need to find a ride to get there!!!

I just figured out how to get into Pandora... Use a credit card!