Best Jokes

People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’. I say there is...

Marry the right person, and you’re COMPLETE.

Marry the wrong person, and you’re FINISHED.

"Yes, Theo, what is it?" asked the teacher.

"I don’t wan to alarm you, Miss Davis, but my dad said if I don't get better grades, someone was going to be in big trouble."

The poet had been droning on at the party about his various sources of inspiration. “Yes, he told the young girl. “I’m at present collecting some of my better poems to be published posthumously.” “Lovely,” said the girl. “I’ll look forward to it.”

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce!
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, its cold out here!