Best Jokes

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A little kid goes grocery shopping with his mother. They separate for a short time. Then, being lost, he says, “Martha! Martha!”

Short time later his mother rushes up and hugs him. She says, “Why did you call out Martha, Martha, I am your mother?”

The kid says, “There are a lot of mothers in the store, better chance you’re the only Martha.”

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CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
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Someone came up to me on the street yesterday and ask if i had an extra cigarette.

I said, "No, I don't. My pack only came with twenty."

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
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I locked my keys in the car the other day...

But it was alright, I was still inside.

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posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
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A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The city-slicker attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. He did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take
half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You are really dumb, old man, I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning."

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CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |