Best Jokes

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

It had more cents.

A burglar broke into the home of a good Quaker gentleman.

From upstairs, the Quaker heard the noises below and realized there was an intruder.

He took his hunting rifle to the top of the stairs and announced: "Friend, I mean to do thee no harm, but where thou standest is where I am about to shoot."

If you had purchased $1,000 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have less than $11.00 of the original $1,000.
With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00.

But, if you purchased $1,000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycling, you would have $214.00

Based on the above, current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg Plan.

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple.

But with extremely limited memory.

Just 1 byte.

Then everything crashed.