Best Jokes

Money talks, but credit has an echo.

Customer: Look here, butcher, you are giving me a big piece of bone. With meat as expensive as it is, I don't want all that bone.

Butcher: I'm not giving it to you, mister, you're paying for it.

A deputy police officer responded to a report of a bar disturbance. The 'disturbance' turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too.

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist, probably better than Houdini."

The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

"Are you sure?" the deputy asked.

The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

Ballerinas are always on their toes...

Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?