Best Jokes

I know someone who had her face lifted so many times, the doctor ran out of skin, so he took some skin off her right thumb and grafted it onto her nose.

Now, every time she goes hitchhiking, her nose shoves to the right.

A young soldier was up before his commanding officer for a reprimand.

After going through a list of his misdemeanors the CO says, "And another thing, I didn't see you in camouflage practice this morning."

"Thank you, Sir," the soldier replied.

My chiropractor is no comic, but he really cracks me up.

The most dangerous part of parenting is when I'm barefoot and reenacting the shattered glass scene from Die Hard in a darkened room full of legos.