Best Jokes

Yo' momma is so big...

It take her 24 hours just to get up... And by the time she gets up, it's time to lay back down because the day is over with!

Sign on entrance door to delicatessen:

KNOCKWURST BEFORE ENTERING!

My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. She said, "I know I had my cell phone with me, but now I can't find it!"

I replied, "Aren't you talking on it?"

There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in, followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!"

A little boy had been pawing over a stationer's stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, "Just what is it you're looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend, anniversary or a congratulations to your mom and dad?"

The boy shook his head and answered, "Got anything like a blank report card?"