Best Jokes

Little Johnny didn't want to go to school so, he grabbed his father's phone and calls his teacher.

Little Johnny (speaking in a manly voice): "Hello, I want to tell you that John won't be able to make it to school today."

Teacher: "Okay, noted. But to whom am I speaking?"

Little Johnny (in deep voice): "You are speaking to my dad."

Why did the dentist become a baseball coach?
Because he knew the drill!

What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?
He braces himself!

Why did the smartphone go to the dentist?
It had a Bluetooth!

What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea?
Denis!

Why did the dentist break up with their partner?
They just couldn’t handle the plaque!

A mother walks into her own bedroom and is surprised to catch her 10 year old daughter reading her diary. Startled, she just stands there.

"You were right mom," says the daughter. "Reading is fun."

So my life has been in turmoil and one night, before I went to sleep, I asked the universe to fix me...

The universe delivered.

When I woke up, I had been neutered.