Best Jokes

The circus was in town and Stanislaus and Oleg were the featured act. While Oleg walked across the high wire without a net, Stanislaus would balance on Oleg's shoulders, all the while juggling 5 balls at once. A few minutes before they were to go on, Oleg called for the ringmaster. It seems Oleg had become deathly ill by eating some bad sushi and would have to cancel tonight's performance.

"You'd better tell Stanislaus," Oleg said. Walking into Stanislaus' dressing room, the ringmaster got right to the point. "Stanislaus, I have some bad news. You won't be doing your act tonight."

"Why not?"

"You don't have Oleg to stand on!"

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today.

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

Q: What has four wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck.

A young man was trying to park his car between two others. He put it in reverse and bang, right into the car behind him.

He then went forward and bang, right into the car in front.

A young woman watching the maneuver couldn’t contain herself. “Do you always park by ear?” she asked.