Best Jokes

Question... What is in the middle of nowhere?

Answer... The letter 'h'.

Yo mamma so dumb, she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor!

Yo mamma so dumb, she fell up the stairs!

Two older women who were rivals in a social circle met at a party.

"My dear," said the first woman "Are those real pearls?"

"They are," replied the second woman.

"Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them," smiled the first woman.

The second responded, "Yes, but for that you would need real teeth."

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech.

"Mom, this is Susan and I'm sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I'm going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad's car has a flat but it's not my fault. Honest! I don't know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don't be mad, okay?"

Since I don't have any daughters, I knew the person had dialed my number by mistake. "I'm sorry dear," I replied, "but you've reached the wrong number. I don't have a daughter named Susan."

"Wow, Mom," the young woman's voice replied. "I didn't think you'd be this mad."