Teacher: Johnny what do you want to be when you grow up?
Johnny: Either an animal Vet or a Taxidermist.
Teacher: Why did you choose such different careers?
Johnny: Well, either way you get your dog back.
Do you know why a bunny rabbit nose is always shiny?
Because its powder puff is on the other end.
According to Albert Einstein there is nothing faster than the speed of light.
But he is wrong... you can make something much more faster than light:
1. First take torch or a flash light.
2. Now take a video camera and record it.
3. Now put the video you have recorded in to your video player.
4. FAST FORWARD THE VIDEO.
CONGRATULATIONS YOU GOT SOMETHING FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT!
One night a priest who is driving erratically gets pulled over by a cop. The cop asks him if he's been drinking. The priest says he's been drinking water all night. The cop sees a bottle of wine in the passenger seat and tells the priest what he sees.
The priest then nonchalantly says to the cop, "Jesus has done it again!"