Best Jokes

When Mary was pregnant, her five year old, Billy, was utterly amazed and a little bit disbelieving that his sister was growing in his mom's tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she asked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby kick.

But when he did, the baby was suddenly still. "Oh, Billy, she must have decided to take a nap," shrugged his mother.

"A nap?" Billy marveled. "You mean there's a bed in there too?”

A penguin walks into a bar. He goes to the counter and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?"

Bartender replies, "I don't know, what does he look like?"

Teacher: Johnny what do you want to be when you grow up?

Johnny: Either an animal Vet or a Taxidermist.

Teacher: Why did you choose such different careers?

Johnny: Well, either way you get your dog back.

Do you know why a bunny rabbit nose is always shiny?
Because its powder puff is on the other end.