Best Jokes

Did you know drinking beer makes you smarter?

I know it does because it made Bud Wiser!

While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

"What are they doing?" she asked the tour guide.

"Each year," he replied with a grin, "the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: "So, what's the answer?"

The guide replied: "One."

There was this Antartian that wanted to take up a new winter hobby. She went to the library and started studying all about ice fishing. Finally, she went out on the ice, set up all her stuff, and sat down. All of a sudden, a bellowing voice from above said, 'There are no fish under the ice."

Startled, she got up and moved to a different spot. Right as she began to sit down, the voice from above spoke again, "There are no fish under the ice."

Frustrated, she got up and walked a long ways away onto a new patch of ice. She sat down and set up all of her gear. Once again, the voice spoke. "There are no fish under the ice."

Now the Antartian was very mad. "God, is that you? she asked.

"No! It's the manager of the ice skating rink." the voice replied.

When I babysit for my minister's three-year-old, one of our favorite games is "Go Fish".

One evening, after winning several rounds, she kept bragging about how good she was.

Jokingly, I said to her, "I'm going to have to teach you a little humility."

Immediately she looked up and asked, "How do you play that?"