Best Jokes

Husband and wife are having a conversation.

Wife: "​Since we got married, we don't go out anymore and we never go eat at nice restaurants. You are not romantic anymore. You never say sweet things to me anymore."​

Husband: ​(Chuckling)​ "Oh Darling, don't look too much into it. You know I still love you. But have you ever seen a politician campaigning after winning an election?"

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Why do valentines have hearts on them?

Because spleens would look pretty gross!

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldplate, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

"Mr. Goldplate," announced little Joey, "there's something' I can't figure out."

"What is that Joey?" asked Goldplate.

"Well according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"

"Right."

"And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"

"Er--right."

"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you are right."

"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something' important, right?"

"All that is right, too," agreed Goldplate. "So what is your question?"

"What I want to know is this," demanded Joey. "What were all the grownups doing?”