Best Jokes

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knew it, the bridge was right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars were backed up for miles.

Finally a police car came pulling up to the scene. The cop got out of his car and walked to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'

The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'

I told my friend that my wife and I had a huge argument and she left for the Caribbean.

"Jamaica?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "she went of her own accord."

An effusive client brought a litter of puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. She loved them so much, she couldn't keep from remarking about their cute habits.

As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished.

After the fourth puppy, I noticed my talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I never realized they had to be baptized."

Today I turned on the television and saw commercials...

Every now and then they were interrupted by some Olympics coverage.