Best Jokes

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after three hours he hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going too fast to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes--both going well over 120 mph--blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to another officer that he had two Corvettes heading his way at over 120 mph.

He then relayed, "And you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass!"

Tom & Jane just got married and moved into an apartment in New York City filling it with all of the precious items they received as wedding gifts. One day, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show in the city, with a single line written on the envelope: "Guess who sent them."

Jacob and Mindy assumed that it was a belated wedding present and while they enjoyed the show immensely, they spent the whole evening trying to figure out who the tickets were from.

On their return home from the show, Jacob and Mindy were met with a disastrous sight: their apartment had been stripped of every one of their wedding presents, every article of value in the apartment. And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was written a note on an envelope: "Now you know!"

The six year old asked his grandpa how old he was. Grandpa decided to have some fun and replied, "I really don't know."

The boy said, "Why don't your look in your underwear?"

"Why would I do that?" he replied in wonder.

"Well mine says 4 to 6 and I am six years old."

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

There go the lights again...

Ya know, there's big money in kidneys - and this guy's got two of'em.

That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

Uh Oh! Page 47 is missing!