Best Jokes

Recently, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that to get into Heaven they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, unable to handle the odors coming from this guy, decided to make the question a little harder. "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. "1,228," he answered.

"That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

I wanted to tell you a joke about boxing, but I forgot the punchline.

I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

Christmas is a weird holiday. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?